I hope you are all well. I am just finishing editing this blog post on my way back from Orlando. Sean’s flying which is cool and I am just on my break. People constantly ask me where I get the time for things and I genuinely don’t know but I’m making use of this break and finishing this off. We have the next few days off together as a family so no doubt I’ll be quiet on Instagram over the next couple of days. I hope you all are having a nice weekend despite the awful weather.
Anyway back to the post. I saw this quote a few weeks ago and just decided I wanted to do a post on it. I sometimes get inspiration from simple things like this. The quote is:
Don’t Compare Your Life To Others. There’s No Comparison Between The Sun and The Moon, They Shine When It’s Their Time
Facebook and Instagram bring social comparison to a whole new level. People will show the most aspirational versions of themselves online. Some are just real people, showing real life but a lot are showing you only what they want you to see. Everyone has different reasons to why the use social media. Some use it for work, some use it for fun, some use it to keep in touch with friends. It can be hard to stop comparing yourself with others as it can really have an effect on your whole self esteem. Personally I feel I show the bad, the good and the ugly on social media. I wear no makeup, I wear makeup, I talk about tough times and I speak about happy times. That is being real, showing all aspects.
Social media makes us ASSUME a lot. We make quick assumptions of people based on what??? Their 10 frame Insta Story every day? That’s only a tiny part of their life. We tend to assume that when something is going well in someone’s life that their ENTIRE life is the same way which can be far from the case. So many of us scroll through Facebook or Instagram looking at others and we can’t help but compare our lives to others. The girl with the banging body, the couple who are so in love, the perfect little family across the road, the hot guy with the beautiful girlfriend, the hot girl with the sex bomb boyfriend. We as humans constantly compare ourselves to one another. We may not think it, but we do. That ‘happy’ couple may not be so happy and may kill each other, the girl with the banging body may be deeply unhappy in herself, you just never know what happens behind closed doors with people.
Comparing yourself to others is the main reason why people can become so nasty online. It’s horrible to watch. In my blogging career I’ve had my fair share of hate and more so in the past 2-3 years really. These people are fuelled by following people online and are jealous of whatever the hell, I really don’t have a clue. It’s ridiculous. I’m jealous of NOBODY. Why? I’m not a begrudger. Take for example a conversation I had with a friend recently about Lauren Arthurs (Love Lauren). We were chatting about how she is always away on amazing press trips with companies and goes to the most fabulous places. We weren’t talking negatively about her at all, only positive. We both said that we would absolutely love that and how amazing she was doing, how we only wish that we could go on that amount of trips away paid for by a company or brand. I said FAIR PLAY TO HER. If I could, I would too (however working full-time and having Lily, it just wouldn’t be possible). Why can’t everyone be that way? Or at least try to be. Why can’t everyone say…..Fair play to the neighbours for getting that new 191 car or fair play to their friend for landing ANOTHER promotion.
This leads me onto a few topics I wanted to discuss. My job is my job. When I go to Orlando, I work the flight over, spend a few days there and fly home. This is my job that pays my bills. Some people choose their 9-5 and I choose this. Do I miss Lily when I am away? ABSOLUTELY I do, so so much but like lots of mothers I have to work. When I am away I know she is safe and well with our family minding her so I am at ease knowing that. When Sean and myself fly together, that is work. We are working together to have the same days off together when we are back from that trip. Days off together to spend as a family which we have done yesterday and today. Days off together are valuable as you all know especially when you have little ones. Please don’t hate me for this as I am just like you and need to work to provide for my family like anyone else. Please don’t send me messages saying you don’t need to explain yourself because sadly I do. Sadly we are in a world where everyone gives their 50 cents but I am a completely normal girl who works just like you reading this, I just happen to have a following on Instagram and share my stuff. I do the odd #sp or odd #collab and that is it. I don’t bombard you every day with sponsored posts promoting every bit of clothing I am wearing or telling you everything is ‘GREAT’ when let’s face it, it’s not. So I ask you not to compare my life to yours as even if it may be ‘glamourous’ flying here and there, it’s still a job. I am so grateful for being able to do what I do and especially when Sean & myself get to work together too. We try to get one trip per month so then our days off align with each other so it’s good. I’ve spoken to a few mums about this and they say they do the same thing with their partners/husbands too.
People constantly ask me daily about how I feel about being judged online, talked about online and what I think of the hate pages for bloggers etc. 95% of hate I get is from people in my job sadly. Someone recently told me to leave my job if it was causing so much drama and I said “No way. Why would I let these sad people win?”
As I mentioned last week in a blog post, it’s extremely difficult doing what I do online and working a full time job. Like nursing I have a predominantly female workforce however I never loose sleep over what people say or think of me as I really do not give a shit. Why do I feel the need to address this publicly? Well because I want these people to know that what they say about me, says more about them. Recently I confronted a few people in my job about different things they had said/wrote online about me and asked what possessed them to do it? All three apologised and said they got it wrong. All three admitted that the judged me based on what they heard, yet NONE of them had ever met me in person. If someone meets me and dislikes me, FINE I get that you can’t get on with everyone but to only go on hear say and dislike someone ‘just because’ and feel influenced by others is SAD! I’m not talking about young girls here, I’m talking about grown women in their 30’s, 40’s and 50’s.
I’m one of very few ‘influencers’ who has a full time job as well as do this and I am very very proud of that. I am not going to change for anyone and I’m certainly not going to stop what I do online because of a sad group of people who want to tear me down. If anything they drive me forward and make me want to succeed even more.
So I ask you to at least try to stop comparing your life to others, online or not. To think before you judge and act and to know that you are never going to see the ‘bad part’ of someones life online. Just know that everyone shines when it’s their time. Everyone’s timeline is different. For example, I’m 30 and I’ve a baby, boyfriend and a house. I know a girl who’s 30 with no boyfriend, no house and no baby. Am I happy? YES. Is she happy? YES. We are both cruising along on our own timelines. She’s total content working and striving hard in her career. She’s busting it and doing so so well for herself. She hasn’t time to think let alone have a boyfriend or kids. I’m totally content with having my family now and that’s how life is. I won’t compare myself to her because that’s her choices and this is mine. Everyone’s life is different and just because someone else has something doesn’t mean you need to have it too. You might get your house at 25 or 35, you might have a baby at 30 or choose to have babies at 18, you might choose to go back to college at 30 or 40, yet someone else may have done it on leaving school.
Your time will come. You will shine when it’s your time. You may not think it right now but you will. If you are focused and putting in the graft, then you are already one step closer to your end goal no doubt. Anything worth having is worth waiting for right? We are all on our own little journey. My journey is different to your journey, my mums journey and is certainly different to that person I follow on Instagram with 600K followers journey. My goals are different to your goals, that’s what makes us all so unique.
Please remember that happiness is found when you stop comparing yourself to other people.
I hope you enjoyed the post 🙂 Make sure to let me know what you thought on Instagram @aoibhedevlin
Love Aoibhe xxx